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Improving Maternal Mental Health

12/5/2019

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By our Student Intern, Yuvi

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A mother’s love is an unconditional beauty that is often hard to express. It is often the case that our mother’s efforts are carried out behind closed doors, and may go unnoticed, which ironically (and unfortunately) reminds us of maternal mental health. A struggle that so often goes unnoticed. This Mother’s Day, Harbour Therapy Clinic wishes to increase awareness of the importance of maternal mental health by integrating the theme of mental health into gift ideas that aren’t subject to holidays, but instead, any time of the year.

Mental health problems are becoming increasingly common, particularly in mothers. Worldwide, over 10% of pregnant women and 13% of new mothers experience mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. As motherhood is a full-time job, symptoms of mental health issues are commonly undiagnosed, or swept under the rug. We encourage mums, daughters and friends to keep an eye out for symptoms of depression and anxiety that may be prevalent, including:

  • Poor sleep
  • Fatigue
  • Sadness
  • Irritability
  • No Energy
  • Loss of interest
  • Poor appetite
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Burning out

Here at Harbour Therapy Clinic, we encourage you to embrace maternal mental health awareness and be mindful and spread love to all mothers and women, not just on Mother’s Day, but every chance you get. Cherish your mum, the mothers around you, and just as importantly, yourself, with these thoughtful gifts, perfect for anytime of the year.

  • Free time: This one is a great gift for a loved one, or yourself. Too often, we lack free time. Free time can be a way we reinvigorate ourselves, gain mental clarity, or treat ourselves to acts of kindness. If your mum, or a mother you know is lacking free time due to child responsibilities, or taking on too much load, offer to watch their children, or try to alleviate some of their responsibilities and prompt them to take some time out for themselves. Whether they run errands that will help them feel less stress, take a walk, go to a yoga class, or get a massage - some free time goes a long way. That goes for yourself too. Set aside some time to do something you’ve been meaning to do, or something that you know will help you feel more relaxed and refreshed.
 
  • Surprise flowers: Cliché, sure! Effective? YES! Receiving flowers is always nice on occasions, but it’s even nicer as a random ‘I was thinking of you’ gift. For extra thought, chose their favourite colour! This gift goes for yourself as well… if you see some fresh blooms that take your breath away, go ahead and grab them to enjoy.
 
  • A home cooked meal: Cooking someone (or yourself) a wholesome meal is the ultimate way to show care. Cook your mum a nostalgic meal she cooked for you as a child, or find a recipe you’ve been meaning to try yourself and give it a go. As they say, there’s nothing like a home cooked meal.

  • Photo gifts: Personalised gifts are the best way to capture beautiful and happy memories for your mum, and a sweet way to keep cherished memories alive for yourself. Some of the best frames we’ve found are at charity stores, and most of the time, they make the memory you’re capturing feel even richer! Next time you’re near an op-shop, why not head in and find a beautiful antique frame.

  • Novels, cards or books: Nothing shares the love more than love messages. Write a card expressing your love and gratitude to your mum. Maybe it’s a thank you card for everything she’s done for you. Maybe it’s a note to tell her that even though you don’t always say it, you’re so glad she’s your mum. Perhaps you’re due for some self-reflection and self-gratitude, so why not write a card to yourself. Express how proud you are of everything you’ve accomplished. Thank yourself for carrying you through each day. For your health, and your perseverance. For treating yourself to those flowers last week, and for being strong when you need it. Or maybe you see a book or novel on mindfulness and mental health care you think your mum, mum friend or even you might like to read.

Whatever you go to, anything that encompasses thought or gratitude is sure to be a winner. We’d love to hear what you think of the ideas above, or even what your ideas are for some thoughtfulness to your loved ones, or yourself.
 
*Statistics provided from the World Health Organisation 2019.
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Be Your Valentine

14/2/2019

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By Jayde Austin

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Each year, Valentine’s Day puts the emphasis on that ‘special someone’ in your life – and while we totally agree with spreading the love – we think that special someone receiving it, should actually be yourself!

There’s plenty of love and gratitude to go around, and so many ways to release self-neglect and put loving yourself into action. This Valentine’s Day, we’re encouraging you to practice self-love, self-acceptance and gratitude; after-all, loving and accepting yourself is a one-way ticket to improving your quality of life, and gaining a greater understanding of what you need to feel healthy and mentally well, closer with others, more fulfilment, and greater hope for what the future holds.
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If you’re anything like us, taking time to practice self-love can be hard. Other things are more important than you; you have kids to look after, a partner you’re putting before yourself, work is more of a priority, or you’re simply lacking motivation – the list of excuses are endless. We call them excuses because the very first step to practicing self-love is shifting your self-perception. Feeling worthy of receiving love is the key to putting excuses aside, and acknowledging that gifting yourself with love and acceptance will greatly benefit everything else going on in your life – including those you were once putting before yourself.

Loving yourself isn’t a one day a year event, either. It’s an endless, ongoing endeavour, and one that we feel needs to be a priority. Not only so we feel enriched in our own lives, but also so we can show up in the world and give our full, amazing selves to others. Here are some ways you can try practicing self-love, and start cultivating this new lifestyle from this Valentine’s Day onward:

Try to overcome negative thoughts.
We all fall prey to negative thinking, which drains our energy and keeps us from being fully present. And while it’s so much easier said than done to overcome negative thoughts, we've put together some practical suggestions that might just help you shift your frame of mind, or attention, elsewhere. 


First off, ask yourself this: what are the top 3 sources of negativity in my life? It could be social media, someone close to you at work, or even your diet having a negative response in your body. Take a piece of paper and write your three things down – then ask yourself, what can I do to spend less time with these 3 things this week? Be practical; if you’re not the type to deal well with cutting things out of your life, simply cut them down – limit yourself to 30minutes of leisurely time on social media instead of hours; make an effort not to take a break at the same time as the draining colleague at work; or take some steps to cut out foods you think are upsetting your body.
 
Another tip we have is to let your inner optimist out when you’re in negative situations. The best advice I’ve been given when I’m completely down and overwhelmed, is to ask yourself questions that will take you out of yourself for a moment, so you can see the bigger picture. Things like:
  • How would my best friend, partner or parent support me in this situation?
  • What’s the one good thing about this, or a lesson I’ve learnt?
  • What can I do differently next time to protect myself from feeling like this again?
I find that train of thought helps me treat myself with more compassion. My best friend would never say I’m stupid for getting myself in a funk, and they would always be understanding and forgive me for mistakes I’ve made. Asking myself these questions removes me from overwhelm just long enough to realise that what I’m fretting about probably won’t matter in two years, let alone two weeks, and I can get on with my day in a more positive, structured frame of mind.

The final tip we have for shifting negative thoughts (although we could go on with this point for a while!), is to talk it out. Negative thinking is like a snowball – if you hold it in, your thoughts tend to get bigger, heavier and more dangerous as they continue rolling. Venting with someone you trust is a sure way of gaining a better perspective, and feeling a sense of relief and grounding within the situation. Personal therapy is also a fundamental way to analyse the root causes of negative thinking, and teaches us to shift the way we think. All of these things will contribute greatly to letting go of that nasty monster called negativity, and replacing it with light and kindness. We want you to show yourself more love and understanding, no matter what the situation.

Give yourself the gift of decluttering.
We’re not about to get all Marie Kondo on you, but we are going to enlighten you with some science behind decluttering attributing greatly to more happiness and less stress in your life. Living or working in chaos can deeply affect your mood and create a feeling of chaos within. It also diminishes a sense of peace or tranquillity when you move into a space, whether that’s work or home. An open, organised space can be freeing and uplifting. We’re not talking about being perfectly clean all the time, after-all, life is about living too! But taking a little time to tidy up, and create spaces you’re happy and proud of can make a big difference to your emotional state and inner peace.

Studies have proven a direct link between the stress hormone cortisol, and clutter. While a gender split did come into this study, (with women much more psychologically averse to clutter), the basic takeaway applies to everyone. Cortisol is not just linked to stress either; at heightened levels, it also causes depression – so living in an overly messy, cluttered or dirty home can give rise to other negative mental states. Keeping your space stress free can often be as easy as designating 15 minutes a day to tidying, rather than a full day every weekend. Even starting with 5 minutes a day to tidy that problem area could make a big difference.

Your living space reflects your inner self. I know for me, when I'm working in a tidier space, with my favourite scented candle lit, I feel clearer, calmer and more capable of whatever it is I’m trying to achieve. Prioritising yourself enough to cultivate spaces that you feel comfort and pride in is a great step to feeling better and enjoying life. You’re worthy of beautiful spaces, and peace when you come into them. Getting rid of that pile of clothes you've been meaning to donate, organising that cupboard you’re always avoiding because things fall out when it’s opened, or sorting through that stack of papers you've been staring at for months can be quite refreshing and give you a sense of accomplishment. Think of it as getting rid of the old to making room for the new! Treat yourself to a positive momentum to increase your sense of happiness and self-worth.

Treat yourself the way you hope your nearest and dearest are treating themselves.
We all have a complicated relationship between feelings and actions. If you were to reflect on your current state, would you say that your actions are generally reflective of a person who truly loves themselves? We’re generalising here, but for most people, they don’t get enough sleep or exercise, don’t feed themselves nourishing foods, don’t take care of their bodies and minds in the best way for them, and they avoid spending any real time in their own company. Treating yourself in the same way you would hope your loves ones are treating themselves is a great way to lead a healthy, fulfilling life. We all want our loves ones to nourish themselves, right? We want to see them quit smoking, and eat healthy so they can live long, prosperous lives. We want them to feel refreshed every day because they’ve had a great sleep. We want them to feel strong in their bodies from exercising, and we hope they see how incredible they are and have gratitude for all the amazing things in their lives. We want our loved ones to have fun and be silly – to enjoy the lighter side of life. And we hope they treat themselves by wearing their favourite top, or setting aside me time for things they enjoy, like art, or yoga, or walking along the beach.

If you act more like someone who loves you, you’ll feel more like someone who loves themselves. That’s the key takeaway here. Cultivating self-love, self-acceptance and feeling worthy of all of it will help you achieve a greater sense of well-being. Because you deserve love. You deserve time. You deserve focus.

Your ultimate work in self-love is this: step fully and boldly into life, and move through everything with self-awareness and compassion. When times are tough, be gentle on yourself. When times are good, relish in them. Create and maintain spaces you feel at peace in. And always give yourself the gifts you hope others are giving themselves. As you grow closer to yourself, you will feel a sense of self assurance and worthiness, then, your final task is simple: share your gift. Help others shine bright the way you’ve helped yourself. Only when you have learnt to love yourself fully, can you love others with the same capacity. Happy Valentine’s.
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Why Being Kind Is Good For Your Health

3/2/2019

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By Jayde Austin

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Kindness can be defined as ‘the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.’ It is a behavioural response by which we act selflessly. We all know it feels good to make someone smile. Whether you’re letting someone cut in front of you in a line, opening a door, helping someone carry a heavy load, or paying for a stranger’s coffee; you never really know how deep of an impact you've had in someone's life... what you consider a little bit of kindness may give someone a whole lot of hope. The impact of something so simple, is quite incredible – and the ripple affect it has is undeniable.

Psychology Today explained that kindness is so often disregarded. But why is it undervalued? They say it is partly because kind people can be viewed as ‘enablers’ by some, or worse, as ‘suckers’ by the cynical. Thus, the cynic’s view is that one is a ‘sucker’, if they behave in a kind, generous manner towards others. This reflects a belief system that success is only achieved through stepping on, or ignoring others. But what is interesting is that a cynic’s behaviour rarely results in true happiness. They often find it difficult to gain a sense of feeling loved - that their true destiny and purpose is fulfilled, and that what they are doing matters in the most profound sense. 
 
Kindness is actually linked inextricably to happiness and contentment - at both the psychological and spiritual level. Over a decade ago, in a study of Japanese undergraduates, researchers, Otake and colleagues, found that happy people were kinder than people who were not happy. Their study also revealed that a person’s sense of happiness increased by the simple act of counting the number of their acts of kindness, with them becoming even more kind and grateful.
 
Isn’t that amazing? That random acts of kindness are linked to our sense of happiness and purpose. You see, kindness promotes gratitude. When we are kind to others in need, our capacity to have empathy and compassion is extended, and we feel a greater sense of interconnectedness with others. When you help others, your own sense of gratitude is also heightened because you have a better understanding of your own good fortune. Furthermore, creating something unexpected and wonderful in someone else's life, no matter how small, also sets in motion a dramatic shift in a positive direction that can profoundly change lives.

For example, when our children witness us doing good in the world, they are taught gratitude, compassion, love, and unity. Did you know that science shows that children are biologically wired to be kind, and we further develop this trait with practice and repetition? Outside influences and the stress of day-to-day lives often results in people losing this inherent ability; but by setting an example, and reinforcing kind and thoughtful behaviour, children can be taught that in a world that is so often cruel to others, kindness – and happiness – is choice, and is there to be spread around.
 
On a scientific level, when we are kind, a hormone called oxytocin is released in our bodies. Oxytocin is primarily associated with loving touch and close relationships. This hormone provides us with the warm fuzzies, by stimulating dopamine and serotonin. According to a study of adults aged 57-85, ‘volunteering manifested the strongest association with lower levels of inflammation.’ Oxytocin reduces inflammation, and even little acts of kindness can trigger oxytocin’s release. It is also responsible for a healthier heart. Oxytocin triggers a release of nitric oxide in blood vessels, which expands the blood vessels, reducing blood pressure. It's therefore known as a ‘cardioprotective’ hormone, because it protects the heart by lowering blood pressure. 
 
Anxiety is an extremely common human experience, presenting itself in a number of ways, ranging from mild nervousness to a severe panic. While there are several ways to reduce anxiety, such as meditation, yoga, natural remedies, and psychotherapy, it turns out that being nice to others can be one of the easiest, most inexpensive ways to keep anxiety at bay! A study on happiness from the University of British Columbia (UBC) found that ‘social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), a factor that can significantly affect psychological well-being and adaptive functioning.’ Positive affect refers to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. These researchers found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed significant increases in PA, with increases being sustained for over four weeks of the study's duration. So, the next time you’re feeling a little anxious, look for opportunities to spread kindness, and see if it helps! Try simply smiling at someone, phoning a friend or volunteering your time to help others.
 
So there you have it; kindness results in happiness, good health, contentment and an inarguable chain reaction. It's good for our lives, our souls, and everyone around us. It's the habit of giving, and the desire to lift burdens from others by being selfless. It humanises us, connects us, and lifts us spiritually. When we are coming from a place of generosity, of giving and kindness that is pure and without any expectation or reward in return, what is occurring is the manifestation of gratitude, hope and guidance. It leads us to a better way of living, greater happiness and the ability to impact deeply others. So… what will your next act of kindness be?
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Tackling the “Back to School” Wobblies

28/1/2019

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By Angie Laussel, Child and Family Therapist

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The long, hot summer school holidays, with the smell of sunscreen, the sound of backyard cricket and the sticky aftermath of ice-cream, are coming to a close. It’s late January, and children and parents across Australia are readying themselves for the new school year. Some children and young people are SO bored they can’t wait to return for the stimulation and to reconnect with their friends. Parents too are counting down the days for a return to routine... 
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Others are starting to feel the bite of worry. Thoughts of: “who will my teacher be?”, “will I have any friends?”, “what if it’s too hard?”, “will I fit in?”, “what if my clothes/bag/shoes aren’t right?” - are starting to gnaw. The back to school wobblies are very real for many children, and can result in noticeable mood changes, tearfulness, irritability, sleep problems, and somatic symptoms such as stomach pains or headaches.

With our grown-up knowledge and experience, it can be tempting to dismiss their worries and give superficial reassurance that “it’ll be alright!”. This is especially true when we are caught up in the busyness associated with back to school: organising new shoes, uniforms, books, stationery and trying to get a school friendly sleep routine re-established.

It’s important to remember that change can give us all the wobblies, especially when we feel we don’t have much control over it - which is very much the case for children and young people going to school. So how can we genuinely reduce our children’s back to school wobblies in a way that builds their resilience? These 7 tips can help you tackle your child’s worries, when they can appear too big for them to tackle by themselves:


  1. Take the time to listen. Children’s fears can feel overwhelming to them, and it is important not to minimise or dismiss them. Instead, we can be gently curious about their worries, and ask them to share more information so we can really get an understanding of what underpins their concerns. A simple sentence like, “I can see how much that is worrying you,” lets them know we have really listened and that we take their fears seriously.
  2. Normalise their worries. We can let them know that lots of children have those fears and that it’s always OK to talk about them. Letting them know we can work together to help sort it out is also reassuring for them to understand that they’re not alone, and that there isn’t anything wrong with them – which can be a big fear for many children.
  3. Help them problem solve. Invite their ideas on what might help, what might make a difference, for them. Actively support them to follow through on their problem-solving plan. Worry about whether they will be wearing the right clothes/uniform, for example, can be huge.  Perhaps they could check what friends and others will be wearing; look online at photos of other school students.
  4. Be prepared. In the lead up to school starting, we can work together with them to layout clothes, pack school bags, confirm school travel arrangements and go over plans so they are well known. We might need to remind ourselves not to approach this as if it is a chore – our excitement can be encouraging for an ambivalent child, and our calmness can be reassuring for one who may be anxious.
  5. Practice new situations. We can forget that it is often the small things that seem the scariest for children. Our bodies and our minds are soothed by knowing what is coming, by practicing new situations and by repetition. Consider walking the school route with them before school starts, or going through the routine of arriving at school (“first you drop your back outside the classroom, then you go find your friend, you can play together until the bell goes, and then you go to your classroom”).
  6. Establish routine. A routine in the week leading up to school can help smooth the transition: gradually return to school bedtimes and wake times, reintroduce morning routines, start giving school type snacks and lunches. The less “new stuff” we have to introduce on the day the better!   
  7. Manage our own anxiety. The new school year can be anxiety provoking for parents too, and children will pick up on this. Being calm, focused and consistent can help everyone. It’s important we aren’t tempted to allow children to avoid school because we are concerned about their level of anxiety. This reduces their capacity to build resilience, diminishes their ability to manage their own emotions, and can establish a pattern of avoidance that is difficult to change. Instead, remain calm and caring, reaffirm they have to attend, and use the above steps to let them know we will help them talk through and problem solve their worries.
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The back to school wobblies are a common experience for children of all ages, including young people going to high school. With parental and school support, the majority of children will learn to cope with their fears, settle back into the routine of the school year and learn to manage the ups and downs that come with it.  
 
Some children, however, may need extra support if the back to school wobblies are more persistent and pervasive. Their fears and worries can transition to anxiety, which may stop them engaging with friends, participating in activities, and make it difficult for them to do things that others their age do.  Big emotions such as anxiety are difficult for children to speak about, so will often be expressed through behaviour or through somatic symptoms. You may notice significant and sustained changes in your child’s behaviour, such as being withdrawn if they were outgoing, or defiant if they were cooperative. They may develop repeated and unexplained physical symptoms such as tummy aches, headaches or stress related skin conditions. Anxiety in children rarely just gets better on its own, and seeking support early is the most helpful thing you can do for your child.
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5 Keys To A Healthy Relationship

22/1/2019

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By ​​Rowena Bianchino

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February is just around the corner, which of course means Valentine’s day is upon us, so why not dedicate a moment to reflect on your current relationship, or on attracting the one you want to have!
 
The truth is, none of us enter into relationships lightly and we certainly all hope that ‘this is the one,’ but slow down… you’ve only just met this person and it’s more than likely you have projected all of your fantasies and unmet needs on this unsuspecting customer, and theirs on you. 
 
From the get go, no-one human can possibly fulfil everything we need and we definitely all have our little quirks that will undoubtably reveal themselves in time! So, if you’re looking at beginning a healthy, long-lasting relationship, or making your current one even greater, here are five things to think about:
 
  1. Philosopher, Author and Founder of the School of Life, Alain de Botton, says that Romanticism has a lot to answer for. The romantics made beautiful art and wrote stirring poetry, but they also set the bar impossibly high for modern relationships! How many times have you said, “I just wish my significant other (S.O) was more romantic.”? In fact, I bet you’re dreaming about how this Valentines Day, they may just get it right! Botton recommends that when you think you have met the one, it’s best to be straight up about all the ways you are weird – after all - they’re going to find out anyway. Now don’t get us wrong, it’s not that we don’t think a bit of mystery fuels erotic love, it’s just that anxiously hiding our true selves is taxing and more often than not creates distance. Botton adds that when you cast your critical eye and decide you don’t like how they deal with the toothpaste tube, rather than groaning with the thought you have to put up with this annoying trait forever, remember it’s only for that moment. We all come with faults. The takeaway here: criticism is not sexy! 
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  2. Sex Therapist, Author and Educator, Esther Perel, writes about how to keep the erotic alive in our relationships. How many of you have noticed that as soon as a relationship becomes ‘too domesticated’ it loses some of its frisson? As we seek for more security, we lose the intoxication of uncertainty and risk and become complacent. I’m not suggesting that you have to be ‘on’ at all times, and can’t have a bad hair day, it is more that you actively work to keep your own dreams and desires alive. The healthiest relationships are the ones where you get the balance right between ‘you time’ and ‘we time’. There is nothing sexier than seeing your partner going for life, fully engaged and immersed in what makes them passionate. Too often in my therapy room, couples reflect on how they’ve ‘lost themselves’ in the poor bargain they made by thinking they had to focus solely on their partner so they wouldn’t be left. More time doesn’t equal the best time, but of course there needs to be lots of great times between you where you co-create your own unique relationship based on the best you bring out in each other.

  3. That brings me to the next point, keep learning about yourself and how your formative experiences may have impacted your adult relationships. Researchers, Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby, did their ground-breaking research on Attachment Theory. If you haven’t heard of this theory, in a nutshell: they found that the way you attached to your primary care giver in early childhood, influences your attachment style in relationships. For example, those of you who are secure enough to go out into the world and explore while allowing your partner to do the same, you probably had a ‘secure attachment’ when small. For the rest of us, we may have developed either ‘anxious’ or ‘distant’ (avoidant) attachment styles. That means that when we feel emotionally unsafe, we either pursue looking for reassurance, or shut-down and turn away because our feelings are overwhelming. Both partners are looking for safety, but often it’s one’s reaction that triggers the others. It is very common for couples to enter into a dance of pursuing and distancing. The trick is to identify and grow to understand your style with compassion and curiosity. Once you know, you can work on finding a more secure relationship style. Personal therapy can really help with this! 

  4. Communication… you saw this coming didn’t you? Yep, it’s a big one, and often the first thing that goes when we get a bit lost in our relationships. The number one best tip in communicating with your S.O is to listen. I know you’re saying “yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before” but… that is precisely my point. When you and you partner are having a conversation, how many times do you assume to know exactly what they’re going to say and begin to formulate your response? As soon as you notice yourself “thinking”, you’re not actually listening anymore. In this way, the conversation often goes pear-shaped. As a relationship therapist, I often feel like a ‘traffic cop’, directing the traffic in your mind to stop and wait. When couples really take the time to listen to what their partner is saying, they often gain new meaning and understanding about their experience. Remember, your partner isn’t the enemy, just someone who is probably as out at sea as you! If you give them time and respectful listening, you may just find out how much you really do mean to them. You’ll even get an A+ if you reflect back what you think you heard for clarification! One other tip on communication is to pick your time/place. For example, if you really think about it, most conflict happens when we are tired, hungry, thirsty, have had too much alcohol, stressed etc. Pick a time to have meaningful discussions when you both have the time to go the distance. Unless you cannot avoid it, don’t have them in cars. Feeling trapped often brings out anxious reactions that lead to a fight! Take good care with how you set up these important discussions. Remember that each time you get through tough moments, intimacy has been built.

  5. It’s not easy to navigate the relationship terrain in the era of social media and swiping right. There are many reasons that we can become addicted to looking at our phones in the anticipation that we will find the perfect partner on Tinder. The truth is: they just don’t exist - but the excitement of continually looking is habitual anyway! A young successful graphic designer in New York, recently reflected on how difficult it has been to find and keep a partner. She is gorgeous and clever and I was quite surprised. She said that she goes on plenty of first dates, but is seems that if you don’t ‘wow’ them early on, they are soon off looking for the next. The reality is that seeking relationships is emotionally risky business. Facebook, Instagram etc. provide us with plenty of distractions and have caused many a conflict between couples. Uncertainty in life is a given, and we have to develop a strong sense of our capacity to cope with it when it comes our way. By connecting with yourself and not seeking your worth from others, you’ll allow yourself to be free to give what we want, and keep some for ourselves. Last year, Esther Perel published her book: The State of Affairs, Rethinking Infidelity. She suggests that we can definitely learn and grow from our mistakes. I could write a whole article on this topic (and in fact, I might!), but the point I want to get across here, is that we need to be able to talk with our partners about desire, and what you both want/need from each other in an honest way. We need to be able to trust others, but even more so ourselves.   

Just as much as a relationship is about understanding each other, it is also first and foremost about understanding yourself. Personal therapy is a great way to understand the inner workings of yourself – which often leads to a better understanding of your experience, past and present, in relationships. This leads to a healthier approach to relationships, and a more inquisitive way of being able to understand your current or future partner. Couples therapy is also, of course, a great way to explore your partners interior world and likewise, help them understand and get to know you more. A safe space to express yourself, where you can be a fly on the wall as your partner does the same. Couples can learn a lot about each other, even in just a few sessions, opening up a whole new world and an entirely new meaning to your relationship. 
 
Read more about how we can help your relationship with yourself, or your S.O, by exploring our Integrative Therapies here. We’d love to hear if you found this article useful, or if any points resonated with you. Leave us a comment below, or engage with us through our socials.
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Managing Stress In The Workplace.

14/1/2019

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By Jayde Austin

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It’s no surprise that most jobs involve some degree of stress, which isn’t unreasonable, however it can become an issue for individual’s health, and the workplace when it becomes excessive and ongoing. Not only does the effects of stress have a significant impact to mental health (in some cases causing an individual to develop anxiety and/or depression – or worsening their existing conditions), it also affects the productivity and performance within organisations.
 
Let’s first explore the effects to the individual, because we’ve all been there at one point or another, and it’s never pleasant. Some people thrive off being under pressure, but for others, it can feel overwhelming, causing physical symptoms such as:


  • Fatigue
  • Muscle tension
  • Headaches and migraines
  • Heart palpitations
  • Sleeping difficulties
  • Gastrointestinal upsets
  • Dermatological disorders
 
Then there’s the psychological and behavioural symptoms you may experience, such as:


  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Discouragement
  • Anger
  • Lack of concentration and mental clarity
  • Increased sick days
  • Diminished creativity
  • Decreasing work performance
  • Problems in personal and professional relationships
  • Mood swings
  • Disinterest and isolation
 
So what causes all of this? What factors are contributing to people feeling stressed at work? The main culprits include:


  • Working long hours
  • Working through breaks and taking work home
  • Unrealistic deadlines and targets
  • Limited input in decision making
  • High mental task demands
  • A lack of role clarity
  • Poor communication
  • Conflict with managers and/or colleagues
  • Workplace harassment
  • Workplace bullying
  • Low levels of recognition and reward
  • Poorly managed change
  • Discrimination
 
When mental health becomes compromised by work, it’s important for an individual to take steps to not only cope, but overcome this stress, allowing them to stay mentally well and as happy as possible. We first encourage individuals who are experiencing workplace stress to understand your agony, ask yourself, is this temporary? How intense are my stress levels? How long have they been increasing, and what impacts are they having to my work performance and personal relationships? Monitoring stress is a great first step in exploring not only the resulting factors of stress, but also the causations. Learning to identify when you’re stressed can help you either avoid commitments that may have otherwise proven taxing to your stress levels and mental health, but also figure out ways to manage situations more effectively in favour of less stress (i.e. ask for longer deadlines, start planning ahead of schedule, have an honest conversation with your managers, or confiding in friends and family, etc.).
 
While it’s difficult to give generalised advice to people experiencing stress in the workplace, given it is extremely individualised and circumstance based, there are a few key recommendations that are sure to help  alleviate stress caused by the workplace.


  1. Start limiting working extra hours.
    According to the ABS, 5 million of Australia’s 8.7 million full-time employees put more than 40 hours of work in every week, with 1.6 million of them exceeding 50 hours! While there are circumstances throughout the year that may results in some added workload, if working overtime becomes the norm, it begins having an impact to one’s mental health and their personal lives. If limiting the amount of over-time you do is unrealistic, it’s worth talking with your manager about your responsibilities and the possibility of sharing this workload. Don’t forget that you always have the right to raise your concerns with human resources, should your managerial conversation show no results. While these conversations can be difficult, not having them could be worst.
  2. Take your daily lunch break.
    Leaving your workplace during lunch and getting some fresh air will allow you to refocus, refresh and boost your productivity for the afternoon. Some people see working through lunch as a ‘trophy’ that shows they’re of value to their employer because they’re busy and dedicated, however the flow on effects of this, including burn out and reduced productivity, simply aren’t worth the sense of purpose you may be feeling during that time. Ensure you step away from your work space once a day to enjoy time for yourself.
  3. Leave work, at work.
    This one is tricky for a lot of people, but ensuring you don’t get into the habit of taking work home will do wonders for stress levels, as you’ll be able to focus on your personal life and those waiting for you when you get home. If you really need to finish something for a deadline, or you’ve promised a co-worker you’d look into a specific project out of hours, be sure to make a set time to do it as soon as you get home, so you can get it out of the way and focus on your loved ones and getting a good night sleep.
  4. Plan a holiday.
    So often, people let their annual leave build up – but taking a holiday once or twice a year has immense mental and physical benefits. Allow yourself to take time off to zone out and prevent anxiety and depression, and increase enthusiasm and work performance when you’re back. Not only is this in your best interest, it’s in your employers too.
  5. ‘No’ isn’t a negative word.
    But it isn’t always easy to say… we all like to please our managers and colleagues, but it’s important for us all to have boundaries of what is possible within our workload. Don’t be afraid to say no to others if your workload or mental capacity simply can’t allow for it. This will help you manage your schedule without as many surprises and overload, and help your workplace understand that you’ll always help within reason.
  6. Limit work technology at home.
    Ask yourself the question: am I really needed 24/7, would simply having my mobile number suffice as a form of contacting me? This is important in establishing how much of your work you’re allowing to ‘come home’ with you. If you’re only a phone call away, do you really need your work emails connected to your personal phone or laptop? If having your work emails connected at home is important to your position, try to limit the interactions you have via email, to those only absolutely necessary.
  7. Take time out for you.
    While spending time with your family and friends is a great way to help with mental health, it’s equally important to spend time on yourself, resetting and working on feeling better. Anxiety from stress causes many uncomfortable physical symptoms such as feelings of tension, tightness, and pain sensitivity. We offer yoga as a way to combat these. Our studio teaches yoga postures, known as asanas, to help ease the physical discomfort that is caused by anxiety. Asanas work to stretch, lengthen, and balance the muscles. These postures can assist in releasing built-up muscle tension and stiffness throughout the body. View our timetable or reach out to us to discuss our classes and workshops in further detail.
 
Aside from yoga, we also offer various forms of assistance to individuals suffering from stress, anxiety and other forms of emotional unease. View our page on Integrative Therapies to learn more about how we can help you overcome your current hardships.
 
You may also be part of a workplace that offers an Employee Assistance and Wellness Program (EAWP) to assist employees with personal and work-related issues that are impacting their job performance, health, mental and emotional wellbeing. If your workplace offers this service, it’s absolutely worth chatting with someone about taking advantage of it.
 
For business owners who aren’t aware of this offering, EAWP gives you access to a team of specialists providing services that promote the health and wellbeing of employees. These services are designed to improve morale, and reduce absence levels and stress in the workplace, with the long term aim of improving the general health of the workforce. With EAWP, companies are gaining from resources helping employees manage their personal and work lives, meaning that both parties gain great benefits. With the primary focus being on the identification and resolution of employee and manager concerns, EAP programs are able to help individuals overcome triggers of anxiety and stress, allowing them to be happier, calmer and regain their optimal performance levels.
 
Harbour Therapy Clinic has a worksite focused program to assist with personal matters such as health, relationships, family, finances, emotions, anxiety and depression, alcohol, drugs and other related issues. Early intervention at the workplace is effective in ensuring employees return to work, in a positive, stable environment. We can advocate on behalf of the client to assist in reducing the impacts of workplace stressors. If you’re an employer concerned about your staff’s wellbeing, or just looking to boost their overall well-being in team building, visit our official EAP page to read more about this service and enquire with our team. Remember, when you or your staff start to be absent, it's our advice to make a timely response.
2 Comments

Making Your New Years Goals Stick.

3/1/2019

0 Comments

 

By Jayde Austin

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         Re-set, re-adjust, re-start, re-focus as many times as you need to.

With the new year, comes new resolutions. From quitting smoking, to being more physically active, or even eating to maximise your health/pleasure paradigm – whatever the focus we love hearing the goals people set – it shows that they want to continue enhancing their lives, and gives them something to focus on in the New Year.
 
In our experience, most goals we hear about will undoubtably have a positive impact on mental health, as people foresee themselves being in a happier space upon reaching their goals. It's quite surprising to know that a mere 20% of people actually accomplish what they set out to do… Not only do we hope this percentage increases; we also hope that you’re part of that group. We have written out some simple ways to help you continue moving forward to reach your set goals.


  1. Write your resolution(s) down:

    If you haven’t already, writing your goals down and ensuring you’ll see them twice a day will help keep you remain focused. Maybe that means you’ll write your resolutions down on post-it notes and stick them to your bathroom mirror so you see them first thing in the morning, and again at night while you’re brushing your teeth. Keeping a journal that charts your journey can also be really useful. Keep it by your bed and write down any important realisations or dreams while your'e at it. Harbour Therapy Clinic's Art therapist, Marg Coutts runs journalling workshops if you'd like to explore this in greater depth. 


  2. Develop a support network:

    Your nearest and dearest are often your biggest cheer squad. From family, to friends, to colleagues – talk to your inner circle about what you’ve planned to achieve in the new year and how they can help. Can they keep you accountable? Can they simply ask how you’re going or be an ear to talk to when you’re struggling? Sharing your goals with others not only impresses it more deeply in your mind, but allows you to achieve greater encouragement when working towards them.


  3. Measure your success:

    Stay motivated and on track by measuring how far you’ve come each week. This will help you realise the positive impacts of your efforts and allow you to ‘start over’ when a new week comes around if you’ve come off track.


  4. Reward your progress:

    Make sure you treat yourself to some kind of reward when you succeed – but be sure to make it something that’s enjoyable, not what you’ve been trying to avoid. For example, if you’re trying to quit smoking, don’t treat yourself with a cigarette, instead, do something else you enjoy – take a small weekend getaway, go to your favourite restaurant or buy yourself a congratulatory gift.


  5. Treat setbacks as a learning experience rather than failing:

    If you slip off your healthy eating plan, don't make it to exercise or sneak a secret cigarette, it’s not the end of your goal – it’s an opportunity to learn, and set ‘prevention goals’. Look at what happened leading up to the setback: what situations make you slip? Can you avoid it next time? Try to reflect on the situation with your support network – maybe they have some ideas that you haven’t thought of on how you can move passed this and avoid it happening again. The biggest thing to do here is stop obsessing over a slight mishap and flip the ‘negative’ to a ‘positive’ – now you have prevention goals to keep you on track! Remember gentle self compassion is far more effective than allowing your inner critic to run rampant and drive you away from your goals. 


  6. Yoga, Qigong, Mindfulness and Meditation:

    Use practical tools like Yoga, Mindfulness and Meditation to help calm the nervous system and strengthen your love of self and connection with others. You'll be able to gain greater self-awareness and focus on your intentions, helping you stick with goals and gain a more centred way of approaching them. Learn how you can utilise these practices in 2019 through our introductory courses by enquiring here. 

What goals did you set for 2019, and how are they going so far? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
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A day in the life of the hell that is my eating disorder.

22/5/2017

5 Comments

 

By Anonymous Client

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Well I guess it’s time for me to explain what It feels like being trapped in the head of an eating disorder. Personally, I think it’s funny when people say things like “she just wants to be skinny” or “she should just stop what she is doing… doesn’t she know what will power is?   and surely eating disorders are a choice! There is plenty more but I’ll save that for a later date.
 
Here’s a little insight into how an eating disorder works.
 
I am going to give it a name.. Bully..so we can clearly identify it. So let’s learn a little bit about Bully... Here are some of it’s qualities!
 
Firstly, it is very nasty, opinionated, controlling and mean. It thrives off disappointment, self-doubt and uneasiness. It likes to never leave you alone, it always lets you know it’s there, sitting on your shoulder. There is always a comment it leaves with you at the start and end of each day. It never misses a beat, always aware of all the things you do wrong, and all the terrible outfits you put yourself in. It’s just like having your own personal bully who follows you everywhere. You never get a minute alone without it second-guessing your decision, your outfit, your meal or the lipstick colour you choose to wear. Yes, I know it sounds like your crazy right?
 
Well sometimes you do feel a little crazy and you believe and listen to the voice that makes all these final decisions for you. It feels like you have lost yourself and are on auto- pilot, just waiting for something big to happen to shock you back to reality.
 
I am going to explain a day in the life of an eating disorder so here goes!
 
You wake up, you’re tired and really feel like sleeping in, considering you have trained every morning for the last 5 days. Your body is sore, you feel weak and lethargic. It's 5 minutes past your alarm, 5 minutes turns to 10 minutes then all of a sudden….”Good Morning get your fat lazy arse out of bed… last night you ate chocolate and that is going to turn into extra stomach fat you don’t need… MOVE IT!”
 
Then you find yourself sprung out of bed in your gym gear walking out the door, with your eyes half closed. Your body feeling like it’s going to collapse on the floor, but you put one foot in front of the other and you do it. Then Bully goes silent whilst you push yourself, your legs feel like they are going to give out from underneath you and your completely out of breath on the verge of tears.
 
You get out of the shower you look into the mirror in disappointment; you look at the fat, the freckles and my white skin. You look at the acne that’s plastered all over your face as a result of purging and you fall to the floor in tears. This is when Bully gets a lot of enjoyment and starts throwing these comments at you “yeah you look disgusting, cover yourself, cover your face”. "You shouldn’t be allowed in public looking like that.”
 It all eventually becomes a blur, you get up wipe the tears away and get on with it. You go to pick your outfit but Bully is back..”yuck, gross, don’t wear that it looks horrible…you look so fat!!”
 
Next you go to make breakfast, Bully says.. don’t eat that toast, don’t have butter, you can’t have milk. You have just trained your butt off but you’re only allowed a banana. Bully is happy with that decision, you get to work and bully starts again, are your sure that’s right?, double check that?, you probably stuffed it up.

You start to feel hungry, bully nope you can’t be hungry, you already had a banana. Just drink some water that will fill you up. So you drink litres of water and you find yourself starving, you’re lacking concentration and you can’t focus.
 
It gets to the end of the day, so you know how you have already trained at 5.30am this morning. “Yeah well you didn’t work hard enough. You need to do another session.” You race home, chuck you gear on and off you go.
It gets to dinner you are ravishing hungry, so you literally eat everything in your sight, which is a binge episode. You sneak food into your room to eat faster than the speed of light. You lay there feeling hot, uncomfortably full and of course Bully leads you to those colourful comments again. The next minute you find yourself making yourself sick. At this point you feel possessed, like a demon. Bully, who is fully in control of you and you are just completing its request at the sake of your health, teeth, mental and physical wellbeing.
 
The next morning you are back punishing yourself from your bad choices you made the night before. Bully loves that bit!!
 
That is just a small snippet into just 1 day of an eating disorder. Now take a moment and imagine working a full- time job and having that going on in your head everyday, yeah I bet your exhausted just reading it.
Now is it really a choice?
 
I am successfully in my 9th week of recovery from bulimia nervosa, I have relapsed but I don’t let that ruin all my hard work. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, every day I just want to throw in the towel and give up, but I don’t.
I just keep on keeping on otherwise I will never recover and I couldn’t imagine a life living with this for any longer. It is poisonous and deadly, you need to take the power back and keep soldiering on.
I believe I will eventually recover, it will take a long time but if I don’t start I will never make it.
 
I wanted to write this as I believe it is important to kill the stigma around eating disorders. It’s not a choice but instead it is a deadly illness that takes a hold of you and gets tighter and tighter to the point of suffocation.
 
I have been very fortunate to have been guided to a wonderful, passionate and strong therapist. She has not once judged me. She helps me see the positives even when I am blind sighted to it all. I think for me the most important thing about her is she understands and genuinely cares!!
 
I believe without her support, I don’t know If I would even be here writing this. I have been so desperate to have someone who listens to me, let’s me cry, doesn’t judge me and is always reminding me of all the positives things.
 
She will always help me laugh through the pain. I believe the most important part of recovery is finding someone you connect with and allowing them in, eating disorders try and shut you off to help.
 
I want to say try so damn hard to not let that happen. The first step to recovery is knowing recovery is possible and with the help and guidance your start to really feel it and believe It. At the end of the day it’s about putting one foot in front of another and repeat. You may fall, trip but you get up and continue or you will never make it to your destination.
 
Ps: the whole time I have been writing this I have been second guessing myself!!
But I want to share because it’s raw, real and honest.

5 Comments

GestaltTherapy: Everything you need to know.

30/3/2015

3 Comments

 

By Urja Refalo

Psychotherapist / Counsellor

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What is Gestalt?

Gestalt is a German word which when roughly translated means ‘whole’.  Gestalt therapy has a broad, deep philosophical and theoretical foundation. What stands out for me having been a client for many years of Gestalt therapy is that I’ve felt respected, treated as an equal and empowered to be the expert of my own life by the various therapists I’ve worked with.  I have felt well supported to explore the different aspects of my mind, body and spirit and at times this has created significant changes. The therapist has been solidly present and authentic, has given space for me to tell my story and supported my exploration. By engaging with the therapist in a way and style, that I had not known previously, I have experienced myself as fuller, more whole; have felt recognised, acknowledged and significant.

Gestalt therapy is deeply embedded in the present moment, in the here and now. By being in the past, or so far ahead in the future we can miss the present moment of contacting and connecting with others and our surroundings, leading to isolation and a myriad of difficult psychological experiences. Increasing awareness of how our past is impacting on our mind and body in the present moment supports our ability to live life in the here and now. What I know from my own journey and working with lots of people is that staying unaware of how we are living our lives can often make it difficult to see our potential and what possibilities lay ahead of us. What we do instead is hold onto an old version of ourselves, one that may not work for us anymore but we don’t know what to do with it.

When we become aware of our thoughts, what our body is saying, our behaviours, what we say to ourselves and our use of language and we have good support, change is inevitable. Awareness of where we are, what we do, and how we do it is what brings about change. By becoming more aware of how we do life and relationships, we can become mentally clear and free from negative habitual thinking. We open to experience reintegration, greater life force and an experience of being whole again, a sense of coming home to yourself.

Gestalt therapy offers a way of exploring the various parts of ourselves that we often keep hidden, either out of shame, fear or anxiety. By finding gentle and supported ways to express ourselves more fully, in all our shades, we can make a space for these parts of ourselves to exist more harmoniously. In Gestalt therapy, your mental, spiritual and physical experiences are given space and by experimenting together we gain more awareness of your patterns and new opportunities follow to live differently, with more choice, more in line with your authentic self.

In short, Gestalt Therapy is profound, authentic, powerful, supportive and perfect for all issues and experiences, ranging from relationship problems to stress management as well as all mental health issues inc. depression, PTSD, trauma;  loss, grief and personal growth.  I work with couples and individuals.

(I’d like to acknowledge Tracy Kavessy-Bell for her inspiring words www.thrivingsolo.com.au)
3 Comments

The Heart of Parenting.

16/9/2014

7 Comments

 

By Jo Field

Parenting Educator at Harbour Therapy Clinic

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Jo Field parenting educator at Harbour Therapy Clinic, Coffs Harbour, outlines a respectful approach to parenting that is based on good relationships.

There is no such thing as control over our children. All we have is influence within a strong and respectful relationship. With a background in teaching, I took on the prospect of becoming a parent with naïve gusto. Having studied child development at college I though I would be well prepared for what was ahead. I could not have been further from the truth!
 
When my three-and-a-half year old daughter (now 20) would speak to me with her hands on her hips in a tone of voice I recognised as my own, I thought, “I need help!” It became very apparent this little human being had a will, agenda and feelings of her own. Most of my training as a teacher did little to guide me as now I was emotionally invested. This was MY child - not someone else’s I could give back at the end of the day.

How was I going to get her to do what I wanted, without having to resort to punishment or methods that did not sit well in my heart and with my values? This question set me on a path of exploration and discovery of what it meant to be in a mutually respectful relationship with my almost four year old and be able to guide her as her parent.

I felt lost and confused in the sea of information available. Much of it was contradictory and definitely not a match with my inner compass. The work of Carl Rogers was my inspiration and supported the way I knew I wanted to parent, where love was not conditional and where we didn’t only get what we needed when we ‘deserved’ it - dessert when we finished vegies and love and affection only if we ‘behaved’.

“Getting positive regard ‘on condition’ is very powerful and children bend

“The Heart of Parenting” is a practical, fun and enlightening look at how we live in relationship with our children.

It explores:

• The skills to promote and support a strong parent- child bond/connection

• How to parent through connection, respect and true communication rather power, punishment and coercion

• Decoding children’s behaviour and responding to their needs instead of reacting to their behaviours.

• How to break generational patterns and learn how our feelings are caused by our unmet needs not our children!

• How to raise cooperative, respectful and self disciplined kids without being a dictator or a doormat

• The importance of emotional intelligence and how it helps to raise children’s self-esteem and independence

• How to strengthen and deepen your relationship to last a lifetime

Children do not rebel against their parents but rather against the control methods they employ.
They form themselves into shapes determined not by their natural actualizing tendency but by a society that may not have their best interests at heart. A good little boy or girl may not be a happy/healthy boy or girl. Children begin to like themselves only if they meet up with the standards others have applied. If they are unable to meet these standards they are unable to maintain self esteem.” Carl Rogers

For the past 13 years I have been researching this relational approach to parenting and facilitating parenting workshops known as “The Heart of Parenting”. The focus of the program is to develop awareness and skills to strengthen and deepen the parent- child bond. This connection is a vital condition necessary for children to mature and thrive. It is also the most potent parenting tool we have.

Parents often see uncooperative behaviour as a challenge to their authority. Once we understand that cooperation is directly linked to the emotional connection a child feels with the parent, we can decode the child’s behaviour as trying to communicate something, such as an unmet need or emotional hurt, which they are unable to put into words

For example, a child who is using a whiny tone whjch you interpret as ‘demanding’ may be asking for your presence or attention or for connection and reassurance. We forget how busy our lives can become and often our children are struggling with the pace. When we are stressed so are they!

“Children are like the corks that bob up and down on the waves of their parents’ stress levels.” Steve Biddulph

A child who is ‘unco-operative’ or plain angry may be in emotional overload. They may just need a cuddle or some ‘special time’ with you. They may just need a good cry as a download of their overwhelming feelings. This helps to re- regulate their nervous system.

Remember our children’s need for connection is on a daily level, just like food.

We do not say that we will not eat for a few days but will feast on the weekend! If your children are not getting enough connection time from you, they will demand it by way of their behaviours. For example, at bedtime if they have not seen you much that day it could be one more story, need to go to the toilet, want a glass of water, and so on. We need to be able to decode this as them wanting more time with us, not being ’manipulative’ or ‘naughty’.

In this example, a parent could aim to start bedtime half an hour earlier and give time willingly. Otherwise, children will find strategies to get the connection they need, even if it is not in the most enjoyable way!

We need to respond to the unmet needs rather than react to the behaviours, as children’s behaviour is their communication.

Instead of asking the question, “How can we get kids to do what they’re told?” and then proceeding to offer various techniques for controlling them, we want to be asking, “What do children need - and how can we meet those needs?” This question then generates ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.

‘This all sounds great...but what about discipline?’ many of my workshop participants ask. Relational Parenting asserts that co-operation is directly linked to the connection and safety a child feels with the adult they are relating to. When a child feels safe, loved and connected to the adults around him, a child’s intelligence is fully engaged. He can learn, cooperate, be flexible about his wants and needs, and be more in tune to the needs of others. That’s why Relational Parenting grounds ‘discipline’ in love, connection and respectful communication rather than relying on rewards and punishment or fear and control.

Children need to rest in secure relationships, in the context of home and in any other framework in which they are cared for such as daycare, school or with grandparents. These secure relationships are vital for maintaining influence with our children, especially in their teenage years. Children do not rebel against their parents but rather the control methods they employ.

There is no such thing as control over our children. All we have is influence within a strong and respectful relationship. We need to model the respect we expect.

This approach is not permissive parenting. Children need firm boundaries. It is how we communicate these that will determine the amount of mutual co-operation. Authoritarian methods only disconnect our children from us and lock us into unworkable power struggles while a ‘hands off’ approach is just as alienating.

The ‘Heart of Parenting’ course I run, which explores these issues, is based on the principles of Connection Parenting and Compassionate Communication (alternatively called Nonviolent Communication) developed by Dr Marshall Rosenberg.

Dr Rosenberg asks “What do you want your child to do and what do you want their reason for doing it, to be?” We are hoping it is out of a genuine connection to you and your relationship, not out of fear of punishment, for a reward, guilt or duty.”

Jo Field- is our specialist parenting educator at Harbour Therapy Clinic, Coffs Harbour. For an appointment with Jo contact Harbour Therapy Clinic on 66521120.


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